No Rhyme, No Reason
by Crow's Gamble
Summary: Rhyme is an intelligent girl who has an adage for every situation, but when her best friends include a reformed emo, a wannabe diva, and a dense lug of a brother, her tidbits of wisdom are constantly being contradicted. Crackfic consisting of short conversations.
1. An Apple a Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own The World Ends With You. I am not profiting monetarily from this fanfiction. Enjoy.**

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**At this point, I've dabbled with a lot of different genres to see where they would take me. Time to give "crack fic" a try! A series of short conversations between Rhyme and various characters who contradict the wisdom of her adages, primarily Beat. **

**Chapter 1: An Apple a Day **

"Rhyme, I just don't care much for fruits and vegetables. Hell, I've never eaten an apple in my life."

"Oh, c'mon! You know what they say: an apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

"I'm pretty sure that's not true, ya know…"

"Shiki does it, and she's never been sick a day in her life!"

"That right?"

"Yup! Least, that's what she told me."

"Dammit, alright! I'm gonna be the healthiest guy in all of Shibuya!"

"Yay!"

"...my throat is throbbing."

"Oh no…you don't like the way it tastes?"

"It's not that…I literally…can't breathe…right…now…"

"Beat? Why are you on the ground?"

"…"

"Oh, damn…he's allergic to apples…"

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**Author's Note: I've been on break from my TWEWY fanfictions for a while. I would guess the reason for that is because I try too hard to make them have a brilliant story while utilizing the amazing world that the franchise has to offer. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that, but I wanted an easy and relaxing project to work on, so this is what I came up with. This project was more or less inspired by the fanfiction "Things my little brother asks" by Dana-Eliza, so check her out if you're interested. **

**Crow**


	2. Living in Glass Houses

**Hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. I decided I'm going to update this fanfic several times a week probably until it is finished since each chapter is designed to be extremely short. **

**Chapter 2: Living in Glass Houses **

"It's just…I'm gettin' sick of Phones."

"Well, have you tried talking to him, Beat?"

"Yeah, but he acts like I'm some kind of simpson…"

"Err, I believe you mean 'simpleton.' And it's okay; he'll realize he was wrong soon enough."

"What makes you so sure?"

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"Hmm…I think I know exactly what you're tryin' to say…"

** 1 Hour Later… **

"Well, I bet Phones will think twice about makin' fun of me now."

"So you talked things over? That's great!"

"Talked? No, no, I chunked rocks at him when he dissed me."

"Beat?! Why would you do something so terrible?"

"We don't live in a glass house so I figured I was good."

"…"

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**Author's Note: Merry Christmas! Feel free to comment with your favorite adage if you want to see how I will twist it in future chapters.**

**Crow**


	3. Time Flies

**Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Lightz, I saw your review. Thanks for the love; I'll try to incorporate your adages into future chapters. **

**Chapter 3: Time Flies **

"Neku, I just wanted to know why you and Beat haven't been getting along lately."

"Rhyme…"

"Please, would you just tell me what's been bothering you? He's been pretty bummed out lately."

"Since the Game ended, I've been trying to find myself, learn more about the world around me, improve who I am as a person. Meanwhile, Beat is constantly slacking off, skating and missing school to do God knows what…"

"Well, time DOES fly when you're having fun."

"If that's the case, his clock must have booster rockets attached. I'm sure Joshua will be happy when Beat soars right back into the Reapers' Game."

"You really are a depressing person, Neku. You know that?"

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**Author's Note: I make it a point to do an author note with every chapter, but considering how frequently this fic is being updated, I think I will avoid them for the most part unless I specifically have something to say. **

**Crow**


	4. Don't Shoot the Messenger

**Great collection of adages I'm getting in the reviews! I'm going to start incorporating some of them into these chapters. No promises that I'll use all of them, but I'll do my best! This one goes out to Lightz. **

**Chapter 4: Don't Shoot the Messenger **

"Beat, this is getting ridiculous…Neku was really upset that you went out of your way to assault him. Just apologize for throwing rocks at him and you guys can move on!"

"No! Listen, yo, he started all this. If he had a problem with me, he shoulda come right out and said it! I mean, I was his partner for the third week of the Reapers' Game! I saved his ass and this is the thanks I get?!"

"Whoa! Don't shoot the messenger!"

"My bad, Rhyme…you're absolutely right. I'll make things right."

**3 Hours Later…**

"Neku, what the hell happened to you?"

"Your crazy-ass brother is what happened to me! He came out of nowhere with an airsoft gun and volleyed me for a good twenty minutes!"

"He did WHAT?"

"Yeah, freakin' ape!"

"Well...he has felt hurt that you weren't grateful for his help in the Game..."

"And that justifies attacking me with freakin' weapons? Let me at 'em! I'm gonna pulverize him!"

"Neku, don't shoot the messenger!"

"It's not the messenger that I want to shoot!"

"…ohhhhhhh."

"What do ya mean 'ohhhhh?'"

"Nothing!"

"Rhyme! Get back here! What do you know that I don't?!"


	5. Silence is Golden

**Here you are, Misty! I saw this one and I thought, **_**I'm gonna use this to put Rhyme in bitch mode. **_

**Chapter 5: Silence is Golden **

"Shiki! How great to see you! It's been a while!"

"Yeah, it has!"

"I keep forgetting that this is your real form; it weirds me out."

"Thanks a lot…"

"No, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that…it's just, you had your friend's appearance the entire Reapers' Game and I got used to it and –"

"Rhyme, it's –"

"And I've only seen you once since the Game ended and, I mean, it was sort of awkward. Beat actually asked me who you were at first and I thought I might be wrong, but it was you and somehow Neku knew, but –"

"Really, it's –"

"But I just can't get over how different you look! No disrespect, but you looked kind of, well, slutty in your previous body, but now you look so modest! I can't even believe you're the same person!"

"Rhyme, that's enough. Silence is golden so let's keep that in mind and change the subject."

"…you did NOT just use an adage on me!"


	6. All Good Things

**One last update before next year begins. Enjoy tonight everyone, but try to keep the inebriation and poor life choices to a minimum. **

**Chapter 6: All Good Things **

"I can't believe the year is already over…"

"And we still never made up with Phones and Shiki. Remind me why you're mad at her?"

"…I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, whatever. It really sucks that we gotta celebrate New Year's Eve by ourselves. I mean, after all we went through together, you'd think we could have made up…"

"I guess all good things really do come to an end…"

"That's stupid, yo. If all good things came to an end, what would be the point of having them in the first place?"

"I…"

"Wait a sec! I just got a text from Phones! He finally came clean and said he's sorry for everything and wants to come over with Shiki to celebrate! Ain't that a great way to end the year?"

"Yup. Out of everything that's happened this year, getting shown up by you really takes the cake."


	7. Actions Speak

**2014 begins! I have a ton of hopes for this year; sadly, some of them are related to fanfiction and video games. Not asking for much, just to finish at least half of my stories and beat my friend in a competitive Pokémon battle. Dreaming high!**

**Chapter 7: Actions Speak **

"Hey, Neku!"

"What's up, Shiki? You still look exhausted from our New Year's party."

"Well, I didn't get any sleep the entire night…isn't that exactly the same reason Beat and Rhyme are grounded now?"

"Seems a little unfair to be honest…"

"Yeah…even more embarrassing is that we went along with it."

"Well, Beat couldn't think of a good toast to make…"

"Rhyme tried to help him by saying, 'Actions speak louder than words.'"

"And she was right. The fireworks Beat set off were way louder than anything he could have said."

"It was really unfortunate that their house got hit by a few…"

"Look at it this way, Shiki. We were able to put out the fire before things got bad."

"That's true. Thank God for that…I mean, they were still grounded even though there were only a few burn marks."

"Actually, I caught a glimpse of Rhyme earlier today at school. She was walking bow-legged."

"You think she –"

"Got spanked? Yup. I bet her ass is redder than Eri's hair right about now."

"Poor Rhyme…"


	8. No Pain, No Gain

**This one goes out to Prof. Thanks for all the support!**

**Chapter 8: No Pain, No Gain**

"Beat, what do you think you're doing?"

"Ah, Rhyme! Uh, look yo, I was just takin' a quick break."

"Beat…you know you should be studying right now."

"But Rhyme! It's bullshit! I mean, what kinda jackass teacher assigns homework the first day back?"

"You need to study, Beat. Our futures are on the line here, and even if you hate it, I really want you to do well and get a good job!"

"Rhyme, I'm just not that kinda guy. I mean, skating is all I really know. Even if I knew anything else, I've probably fallen on my head so many times that I woulda just forgotten about it…"

"C'mon, Beat! You gotta push yourself! No pain, no gain!"

"…you're exactly right!"

"That's the spirit!"

**The Following Day…**

"Good morning, Shiki!"

"Oh…Rhyme…"

"What's wrong? Are you…crying?"

"It's Beat…"

"My brother?! What happened?"

"Well, he was skating and hit his head while he was grinding. He's out cold and had to be rushed to the nurse!"

"…my brother's a dumbass."


	9. Pen is Mightier

**I've been rampaging on fanfiction lately! It'll be a shame when semester starts back up and I have to settle for fewer releases, but at least this story will have frequent updates!**

**Chapter 9: Pen is Mightier**

"Beat, WHY would you intentionally get into an accident just to avoid coming to school?"

"Look, Rhyme, I just ain't into that stuff. I mean, when am I gonna ever need to know how to square a pie?"

"Err, I think you meant 'find the square root of pi.' But knowledge is everything in this world!"

"No, power is everything in this world! That's how Phones and I were able to beat Shades and come back to life!"

"You would have been defeated if you hadn't received a lot of advice and information along the way! Don't ever forget, the pen is mightier than the sword."

"Well yeah, the pins definitely helped, but there wasn't a sword to be found, yo."

"No, I said 'pen,' not 'pin.'"

"What's the difference?"

"Just forget it."


	10. Beggars Can't Be Choosers

**Sorry it's been a few days. At first I was having internet problems, but after I got it back, I went kind of crazy with Archer and s-CRY-ed marathons. Hilarious cartoon and fantastic anime that you guys should check out. **

**Chapter 10: Beggars Can't Be Choosers **

"Urg, Beat, I'm so hungry…"

"You forgot to pack a lunch today?"

"I was in such a hurry to catch the bus that I left it on the table…can you split yours with me? Pretty please?"

"Sure thing! What you want, yo?"

"Anything sounds good. Beggars can't be choosers after all."

"Here, you can have this bag of chips and apple."

"Thanks a lot, Beat. You're the…wait, why do you have an apple in your lunch?"

"Oh, it wasn't in my lunch. I brought a second one with me today."

"That…that's my sack lunch! Beat, give it here!"

"Hey, hey, Ms. 'Beggars can't be choosers,' you forgot your lunch so take what I'm givin' ya and be grateful!"

"Thanks. I'm so so lucky to have a thoughtful, kind, considerate, generous, handsome, intelligent brother like you."

"Aww, Rhyme, you sure know how to make a guy blush!"


	11. Don't Judge a Book

**Once again, Prof, this one goes out to you!**

**Chapter 11: Don't Judge a Book **

"Hey, Rhyme…I think I have a problem."

"What's the matter, Beat?"

"It's this girl, yo! She keeps starin' at me and giggling and shit, but I really don't have any interest in her."

"Maybe you should give her a chance, Beat. After all, don't judge a book by its cover!"

"I thought you'd say something like that, so I looked her over and can safely say I am judgin' both the cover and the back."

"The back…you mean –"

"Yup. Her ass is flat as cardboard. No good."

"Err, just so we're clear, the back of a book is also called a 'back cover.' So despite your best intentions…you still judged her by her covers."

"Aw, really? Then what the hell am I supposed to judge a book by?"

"The content! You've gotta find value in people based on their inner qualities!"

"Ohhh! Wait, then wouldn't it have made more sense to say, 'it's not what's on the outside; it's what's on the inside?'"

"In retrospect…yes. I didn't expect you to connect the adage with your problem to begin with."

"You've gotta give me credit, Rhyme. I can be a genie when I really want to."

"…genius…"


	12. You Only Live Once

**Hah, whether you like it or hate it, might as well consider YOLO as an adage. The message is good; it's just become corrupted by idiotic frat boys. **

**Chapter 12: You Only Live Once**

"So Rhyme, I think I finally found a girl I like!"

"Really, Beat? That's awesome!"

"Yeah, but I don't really know what I should do about it…"

"Ask her out!"

"W-what?! That's stupid, yo! I mean, what if she says no? She doesn't even know who I am…"

"You can't worry about things like that. You only live once, so you might as well do it without regrets!"

"Uh, I've lived twice so far."

"Let me rephrase; normal people who haven't beaten the Reapers' Game only live once."

"Even so, once can be a long-ass time. Like 70, 80 years?"

"It's getting really hard to support you when you use stupid technicalities to break apart my advice…"

"You're right; I'm sorry, Rhyme. I'll ask her out."

"You can do it!"


	13. A Leopard Can't Change

**Surprisingly, my original intent for this series was a bunch of adage-related one-shots, but I'm having a lot of fun making them all connect into a story. What you guys think so far? **

**Chapter 13: A Leopard Can't Change **

"Hey, Rhyme. You wanted to talk?"

"Thanks for calling me back, Shiki. The thing is, I'm worried about Beat. He's found a girl he likes, but I don't think he knows how to go about courting her."

"Wait, back it up. Did you say BEAT?!"

"Yeah. It's weird; I don't think he's ever even had a crush before either…"

"Well…maybe he won't make a total fool of himself…"

"A leopard can't change its spots, Shiki."

"I'm carrying a leopard spotted purse actually! Dyed with purple. A leopard might not change its spots, but other people can. I'll talk to Beat and see if I can teach him a little bit about girls' feelings."

"Oh, God."


	14. A Little Knowledge

**Happy belated birthday, Dina! Thanks for all the support I've gotten from you since starting fanfiction back right before the start of 2013. A short chapter like this doesn't really do much to show my appreciation, but it's definitely there! **

**Chapter 14: A Little Knowledge **

"What's wrong with you, Beat?"

"Oh, Rhyme…dude, you're messed up, yo!"

"Excuse me?! And why am I messed up exactly?"

"Girls in general are!"

"This about your conversation with Shiki? What did she tell you exactly?"

"Well, it started off normally…she told me the obvious crap. Be sweet, be a gentleman, pay for dinner, blah, blah, blah."

"Uh huh…"

"And then she gave me a talk about the turds and the fleas."

"The t…you mean the birds and the bees?"

"Sure, I dunno. Anyway, she told me about…something."

"Something?"

"Yeah…um…monthly, err, issues."

"Oh!"

"Yeah…"

"Poor Beat…a little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

"Y'know, that might be the truest thing you've ever told me."

"If it took you being mentally scarred to appreciate me, maybe I should ask Shiki to explain childbirth to you."

"Please don't….wait, why are you gettin' on your phone? Who are you callin', yo?!"


	15. The Early Bird

**It's February now, so thematically, it's safe to assume that the next few updates are going to be romantic in nature. Still, given the characters I am working with, expect the usual shenanigans! **

**Chapter 15: The Early Bird**

"Neku!"

"…"

"Neku, are you okay?"

"Huh? …oh, Rhyme…what's up?"

"Something bothering you, Neku?"

"It's Beat…he finally asked out that girl he's been having feelings for and she said yes…"

"That's great!"

"Yeah, except that girl happened to be Eri…"

"Oh, wow! Really? Well, what's wrong with that? Don't you have feelings for Shiki?"

"That's none of your business!"

"Huh, well, I guess the early bird got the worm."

But…even if I did have feelings for Shiki, that doesn't change the fact that I got used to seeing her with Eri's appearance…"

"I kind of see what you mean now…"

"Yeah. I mean, what if he kisses her and I think it's Shiki at first?"

"So you DO like Shiki!"

"I didn't say that! God!"

"Neku? Why are you walking away? What'd I say?!"

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**Author's Note:** **I actually have something to say today! Due to the nature of this series, I am not going to go too deep with the Beat/Eri relationship, but that idea was actually inspired by an idea I have had for a while about a fanfiction with a love triangle between Neku, Shiki, and Eri. I haven't even started it yet since one of my goals for this year is to finish off at least 4 fanfictions that I started last year before I create anything new, but once I get that out of the way, I am curious who would like to read such a story. It would probably be a romance/drama, not the kind of genres I normally do, but I have enough interest in the idea that I would go for it if I knew there was a potential fan base for it. Let me know!**

**Crow**


	16. The Sincerest Form of Flattery

**Damn, this is the only fanfiction I have had any energy to work on lately. I really hope I get back into the rhythm soon or completing four fics this year is just gonna remain a pipe dream... **

**Chapter 16: The Sincerest Form of Flattery**

"Congrats on asking out Eri!"

"Wha? Who told ya about that, Rhyme?"

"I found out from Neku!"

"Ah, that guy…he's been acting strange lately."

"Really? How's that?"

"He's been wearin' a beanie, fallin' on his ass tryin' to skate, and keeps sayin' 'yo' at the end of his sentences…I mean, what the hell's up with that, yo?"

"Well, you got the girl you liked, I bet he envies you and is trying to get the girl he likes."

"So he feels the need to imitate me?"

"Well, they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

"Do they now?"

**1 Hour Later…**

"Beat?! What the hell happened to your hair?!"

"Well, obviously I dyed it, yo."

"And why are you wearing indigo headphones?"

"Gotta get my jams."

"Beat, I know what you're trying to do. I wouldn't go there…"

"No, Rhyme! Phones gotta know how freakin' weird this is. It's time to see how he likes it."


	17. A Thousand Words

**Making February romance-themed for the gang was a natural course and a spontaneous decision, but funnily enough, I've also got my eyes on a girl right now. Here's what I decided: the exact same day I get the girl will be the day that Neku gets the girl. I'll literally release a chapter the exact day it happens since I'm such a creative romantic. **

**Chapter 17: A Thousand Words**

"Rhyme…how do you ask out a girl?"

"Err, Neku…I'm a girl. You'd probably be better off asking Beat about this."

"I've tried, but he keeps claiming I just want to steal his moves..."

"Well, you DID go through that phase –"

"I know, I know! It's just…I mean, I don't know! It's complicated!"

"It's Shiki, isn't it?"

"…yeah…I don't know, when I found out Beat was dating Eri, something just sorta snapped. I thought, 'what if someone asks out Shiki?' I don't think I could handle that…"

"Don't be silly, Neku. You and Shiki are meant to be together!"

"That's how I feel, but I can't keep pussyfooting around! I've got to do something special for her!"

"You've gotta show her how you really feel! Put yourself out there! A picture is worth a thousand words; you can't make a half-assed gesture!"

"You might be right…"

**3 Hours Later…**

"Hey there, Shiki! What's got you calling me this late?"

"Err, I don't really know how to say this…Neku got arrested."

"Say WHAT?!"

"Yeah…he was busted for painting a massive graffiti mural in Miyashita Park. It sounded pretty interesting actually; it was a naked girl with musical notes covering her eyes and unspeakables."

"That sounds…um…"

"Aww, you sound embarrassed, Rhyme!"

"I am not!"

"Well, anyway, I called because I'm stuck at home and my mom refuses to let me go out past 7…can you go bail him out? I'll pay you back later, I promise."

"Yeah. Will do!"

"Thanks, you're the best!"

"Neku…a picture might be worth a thousand words, but yours had better not be fined by the letter…"


End file.
